This was originally a note I just wrote to myself, but thought I’d go out on a limb and post it to show some of what was going through my head at the time. I think it’s part of the changing mentality that lead me to achieving my dream of work-travel-adventure, and thusly why I decided to share it with the world.
Jan 22, 2010
Distill, distill, distill, distill, distill.
There are certain deep rooted things that we all want, need and crave as humans, mammals and people. Everything else, as I am starting to realize, is just details.
Love, food, shelter, warmth, belonging, friends, shared experiences, purpose, significance. We all want these. But it seems to me lately that “the blueprint” for modern lives, at best, addresses these in a roundabout way. Or addresses it for someone other than yourself. I dunno. It’s fucked. We spend a lot of time on shit that’s not important. That’s really just not that important. I think. I recently read a blog post by bankrobber, and I believe it’s much more significant than one would imagine or give credence at first glance. This post was so significant to me in fact that I put it in my bookmark bar and labeled it “READ DAILY”. Lest one forgets, right?
It’s not just about focus or goals or any of that bullshit. It’s about getting back to what the human condition is meant to be like in its natural state I believe. We did not evolve with a fucking computer in front of our faces, or a cell in our pocket. Fuck that. I hate cell phones and I hate texting. And emails and facebook for that matter. Sometimes you really just got to simplify shit. And how does one do this?
I imagine a distiller. I need to distill my life. It’s not that I don’t like you all, my hundreds of facebook friends and all. It’s just that I can’t handle it. My brain can’t compute the barrage of information I receive everyday. I’m not ADD. I don’t crave, seek or want stimuli. In fact I yearn for the dead opposite. Sometimes overly so. So I feel like I need to distill my life. Distill my friends. Distill my activities, time and thoughts and efforts. And once that’s done, distill it all again. And then distill that yet again. I need to triple distill the fuck out of my life. And then, once and for good measure, a final distillation. Cut the fat out of the lean of the leanest. Get down to the prime, the premium and the truth and purpose.
I’m sorry, I’d love to spread myself out over all of you like butter. And for the longest time, indeed that is what I feel like I have been trying to do. I just think too much of too many people to allow many friendships to wither. I don’t want them to. I love people. I love connections. But it’s just not feasible I’m realizing. You can’t be friends with everyone, you can’t do everything, and as much as I’ve said no in the past, you sometimes need to cut all the cords, strings and other attachments that hold you back and inhibit movement. Puppets don’t fucking fly (and PS, magnets? What’s with that shit? Try to explain that one science! (Thank you Insane Clown Posse)).
But for reals. Every thought, notion, emotion and activity occupies some of your mental capacity, be it current (RAM) or subconscious (HD). If you tune out, power off all the bull shit, details and excess, you are left with crisp, clean consciousness that will allow you to be in tune with the now, with what is current and important with your life, and allow you to see and create opportunities that your rear view mirror would otherwise be blocking.
Distill, distill, distill. And then distill that shiet. Quadruple sec stylee.
Wake up sleepyhead.